Sorry these first two are kind of depressing, I'll put a happier one up soon. This is one I wrote one day while I was bored in the library (Yeah! I'm so good at doing homework!) Anyway...yup. Feel free to comment guys.
I laughed if off-
the layers of hurt and scorn
weighing me, always,
down
down
down
So many goodbye's
followed by hurried words
Sincerity's meaning lost.
I tried to fly, but you pulled me
down
down
down
I waited so long-
but waiting for change
was like waiting for rain-
this desert keeps crying out,
but no coulds let rain fall
down
down
down
I cried out once more-
silent, sinking, desperate-
But on deaf ears it fell.
It's your turn to cry now
as you call out for me,
pleading for me to slow
down
down
down
Some bruises don't fade,
some burns linger on,
Some wounds will fester,
some hearts can't be mended.
Sometimes to rise again,
you must first fall
down
down
down
Wow.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part was this one:
I waited so long-
but waiting for change
was like waiting for rain-
this desert keeps crying out,
but no coulds let rain fall
down
down
down
It was really cool imagery, good analogy... But I really liked how you used the layout to make the poem even more visual with the down/ down/ down parts. I give this poem an A+.
Actually, I really want to say more about it, and I have been trying to figure out the best ways to discuss poetry. Sometimes it's hard to discuss just because there are some parts that just ring true, and that's all you can say about them. The very last stanza is one of those. I really like it, and I wish I knew how to say I like it more, but all I can say is that, yeah, that reverberates with me. The whole poem does.